It's normal to feel loss as you consider leaving teaching
This is a collaboration between Laura Litwiller, Career Clarity Coach for Teachers, and Bernadette Luzama, former teacher and current Grief Recovery Specialist. We met when Bernadette took Laura's online course Teachers at a Crossroads and have been chattin' and collaboratin' ever since!
Why teachers quit teaching: The emotional journey of a career change
As more educators ask themselves "should I leave teaching?" or "how do I know when to quit teaching?", we wanted to address an often-overlooked aspect of teacher career transitions: grief. This guide will help you understand the emotional process of leaving teaching and provide resources for your career change journey.
What is grief & what does it have to do with teacher burnout & career change?
When we think of grief, death typically comes to mind first. However, grief encompasses much more, especially when it comes to leaving teaching.
Grief is defined as:
The conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.
Saying goodbye to what could be (but isn’t) more, better, or different.
Um, hello teachers considering a career change— this sounds a lot like you!
The Grief Recovery Method identifies over 40 potential "grief events,” a number of which directly impact transitioning teachers:
Career Changes: Leaving a profession that felt like a lifelong commitment.
Loss of Identity & Purpose: Moving beyond your role as an educator, which is often intertwined with your purpose and self-worth.
Unmet Expectations: e.g. Dealing with disillusionment about what teaching has become.
Loss of Community: e.g. Saying goodbye to colleagues, students, and the school environment.
Stories of teachers leaving the classroom
(based on a compilation of teacher experiences)
Story 1: Considering a career change from teaching.
Clara is a 15-year teaching veteran questioning her future in education. Her story represents many teachers thinking about leaving education.
Decreased student engagement post-COVID
Loss of classroom autonomy
Feeling unsuccessful despite years of experience
Conflicting emotions about leaving teaching
What once was a job that fed and fulfilled Clara (albeit a hard one) has become a job that primarily exhausts and disheartens her.
Her students aren’t as engaged in learning anymore (since covid, since AI, since smartphones, etc…)
She no longer feels trusted and respected enough to make her own decisions about her classroom. It’s all about the standards, the national climate, the caregivers' wishes, etc…
She feels like she’s failing everyone (herself and her students, colleagues, parents/caregivers, community, and nation).
Clara is grieving the loss of trust, respect, agency, and success that she used to have.
And yet.
Clara still loves teaching in some ways.
The moments of connection with students, the times she can see the positive impact she has on their lives, the stable life her job has given her, and her teacher besties—they are truly the best.
She feels sad, guilty, and a bit ashamed just thinking about leaving all this behind.
Being in this space of questioning brings up a lot of conflict. You’re one foot in (trying to make the best of teaching) and one foot out (imagining what else you could do).
No wonder it’s hard to decide whether to leave teaching. In its very mildest form, “it’s complicated.” In its most intense form, it’s a decision that consumes you.
Story 2: Life after teaching—a former teacher's journey.
Sid quit their job as a classroom teacher a few months ago to explore new career opportunities. Their experience highlights common challenges in transitioning out of teaching:
Losing their identity as an educator
Navigating career change after teaching
Finding new purpose outside the classroom
Building community beyond school walls
Sid has been proactive in exploring their career possibilities, and they feel hopeful about what’s next.
But Sid is also experiencing loss.
For Sid, teaching was never just a job. It was a calling, and they threw themselves into it for the last 11 years.
Teaching gave Sid a strong identity and sense of purpose that they felt really good about. It gave them a community and sense of belonging that is unique to teaching. When they left the classroom, all this disappeared.
Sid is no longer “in it” with their colleagues and students. They no longer have the clear purpose of educating their students every day. They can’t say “I’m a teacher” anymore.
Sid is transforming from a teacher into something else, but this brighter future is still TBD, and in the meantime, the current losses can feel heavy.
Signs you're experiencing teacher career change grief
Social Signs
Withdrawing from interactions with colleagues during and outside of school
Avoiding teacher spaces (eating alone in your classroom, steering clear of the teacher's lounge, etc...)
Emotional Signs
Experiencing mixed feelings about leaving teaching
Dealing with guilt and shame about even considering a career change ("Everyone else seems fine, what's wrong with me?!")
Managing fear and uncertainty about the future
Physical Signs
Fatigue that just won't go away no matter how much you rest
Changes in sleep and eating patterns
Other stress-related symptoms like headaches, dizziness, etc..
Mental Signs
Difficulty with career decisions
Constant self-questioning from your inner critic
Challenge concentrating, on your career change and anything/everything else
Why address grief in your teacher career transition
High intensity feelings about leaving teaching are normal.
But unprocessed grief can:
Keep you stuck focusing on current and past teaching experiences
Block progress in your career change journey
Reduce motivation for your job search
Delay finding your next career path
In her work with clients, Laura has seen that teachers who hold onto sadness and anger about “what teaching has become” or guilt about “leaving their students behind” tend to be drawn consistently back into the past where they get stuck on how teaching could have been more, different, or better.
This focus on “what was” makes it really hard to focus on “what could be.”
Also, grief and loss that go unrecognized can do a real number on your motivation. A career transition or job search takes energy and hope, and if you have neither, identifying and finding your next job will be a long, tough slog.
Grief resources for teachers leaving education
It's important to acknowledge your grief, recognize the losses tied to teaching, and validate your feelings. Grief is not a weakness; it’s a response to caring deeply about something.
Tools for processing the grief of a career transition away from the classroom
The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman
Journal or share your experience with trusted friends to unpack and process emotions
Lauren Quinn's interview with Bernadette about her own experience with grief, The Unexpected Grief of Leaving Teaching
Other resources for loss on Bernadette's website
Professional & community support for grief and career change
Bernadette's grief recovery workshops, a safe, supportive, nonjudgmental space designed to help educators (and others) process grief and turn it into a catalyst for positive transformation.
Bernadette's 1:1 "Heart with Ears" sessions.
Laura's Teachers at a Crossroads online course & community, a 6 month course to help teachers explore career change and discover the path that's right for them.
Laura's 1:1 career clarity coaching for teachers.
Next Steps in Your Teacher Career Change Journey
Whether you're just starting to think "should I quit teaching?" or you're already planning your transition out of education, remember that experiencing grief is normal and valid. We hope you'll use this post and these resources to support your journey and connect with others who understand what you're going through.
How are you experiencing grief as you consider a career change? Share in the comments below!
I'm Laura, a Career Clarity Coach for Teachers feeling stuck.
I help you explore career possibilities beyond the classroom so that you can make a confident choice about what's right for you, based on your strengths, values, personality, and what you want most for your life.
I'm Bernadette, a Grief Recovery Specialist, Keynote Speaker, Educator & Advocate.
I serve educators, social service organizations, and businesses that support individuals and communities navigating grief and loss, particularly those often overlooked or carrying stigmatized experiences.
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